Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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