so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
