I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
it's great music for shaving your balls
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize