there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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