When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
we're making bets on your personal life
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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