Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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