i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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