You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
