So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
