i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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