Sponge bath it is.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
