They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
