I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize