We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize