dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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