Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
