I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize