i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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