I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
