Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
