He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
