How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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