I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
