Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
