oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
