office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
