Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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