This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize