i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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