All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I enjoy the company of your penis
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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