butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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