shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I wish you could order shots online.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
