You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
