So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
