I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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