Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
