Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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