sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
