I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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