If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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