my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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