Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
