so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
