she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
