their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
dude i'm inner monologue high
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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