My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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