who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
