I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
