She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
