Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
