Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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