there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
