I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
