i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
