I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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