So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We are two peas in an std pod
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
