Having a random hookup so left but love u
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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