is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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