if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
