Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
