that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
