We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
