Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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