why didn't you poke me back
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
