I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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