Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
We got so high we made milksteak
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
