brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The feeling are messing with the penis
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
