So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
