I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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