Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
