hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
