i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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