at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize