Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
