I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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