The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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