i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
