Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
