they need to just BURY HIM!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
